HAPPY 49th BIRTHDAY!>
OK, so, Dark Shadows was...not quite what I'd hoped for. And what's up with no premiere and no Letterman?! I miss you, jackass! But hey, all the behind-the-scenes stuff with your BFFs Tim & Helena was cute enough to make me forgive it, mostly. And your MTV Awards performance was fuckin' awesome--how did you know I love The Black Keys?! And like the song says, when I said that I loved you I meant that I love you forever. So maybe you could just do some more original stuff with Tim...or hey, get Shantaram back up & running? I did read a 900-page book for you, yo. But anyway, have a very happy birthday, and next year, when you're 50 and I'm 25, that'd be an excellent time for us to get married or whatever. Just 'cuz of math.
[Prometheus. Spoilers all up in here because there's lots to discuss.]So of course I saw Prometheus last night, and I...was kinda disappoint, ngl. Some people are reacting really, like, scathingly, but I'm genuinely sad that I didn't love it, because I was hoping to. I don't adore alien movies, and I don't adore Ridley Scott, but I ♥ basically the entire cast and the hype and secrecy around it really kinda worked on me and raised my hopes. But alas. I didn't hate it; the visuals were awesome and I really genuinely loved Noomi--she basically owned the movie, imo--and Fassy. It was just the writing and the structure and how much information we were given: like, I was unclear from the very start why we were meant to assume that aliens = gods and they were the beings that created humans. I didn't really get that leap. I chalked the whole "open invitation" thing up to regular ol' hubris, but then that didn't quite play out. It just felt like--it was one of those movies where I'm sitting there going "is this over my head, or is it just kind of incoherent?" I wasn't sure if the problem was me or the movie itself, and I couldn't tell if/when I should check out and stop trying, I guess. I hate when that happens. And why, why did they cast Guy Pearce in that role?! As soon as I recognized him I was like 'oh, OK, so he's not dead, and he's gonna come back and get down with some weird de-aging immortal-y Benjamin Button shit (and it will go horribly wrong, etc)', but then...that didn't happen at all. So I've gotta assume they were either setting up for a sequel or they were just fucking with us entirely. Which normally I'd respect, but this just felt random.
And frankly, if there is a sequel, I would actually be 100% OK with it just being Noomi and Fassy's Head in a Bag. They were easily the most interesting characters to me. I did like mostly everyone else, though--nice to see Kate Dickie, aka crazy Lysa Arryn (oh man, can't wait for next season. "Only Cat." ahhhhh. And go watch Red Road immediately), and Logan Marshall-Green (hipster opinion: I have known/liked him since the S4 finale of SVU, "Soulless"), not to mention Idris, of course. But I figured from the start that David couldn't just be a mindless borg servant guy, since he's way too interesting of an actor to cast in a one-note part. As usual, I liked what he had to say about the character: "He is jealous and arrogant because he realizes that his knowledge is all-encompassing and therefore he is superior to the humans." That's really interesting, to have him be kind of petty like that. And the two of them had some great scenes together--though does she know that he basically killed Charlie? I'm thinking not. And why did he do that, by the way? Just to see what the black stuff would do to a human? On Guy Pearce's orders? And are we supposed to think that, like, basically everything that happens in the Alien franchise is because of David, because he infected Charlie and Charlie impregnated Elizabeth (Wham Line of the summer: "It's not exactly a traditional fetus." AAAAAAARGH) and she gave birth, kinda, to that thing? That was NUTS. Not only was that scene completely horrifying (suck on it, Breaking Dawn!), but it was shockingly unimportant to the plot. I mean, the...alien-death baby obviously lived and implanted in the Engineer or whatever, but she basically has this horrific C-section thing and then...never mentions it again. I just wasn't sure there. And then, like, I was kinda thinking of Sunshine and figured everyone would die--oh, my sweet Michelotto, I figured you were a goner pretty early, but did you have to turn into a horrifying alien-zombie? Lawd. And then everyone did die, except for Noomi, and there was a good ten minutes when she was running around doing stuff and I'm like "wait, what? Aren't you alone and stuck on a planet two years away from Earth? Why...are you still doing stuff?" But then she set off to do more sciencin', and while I'm not entirely sure how that would work I do like that she's that determined and badass. I did like her a lot all over the place. I just still have many, many questions, and I'm not 100% sure the writers could answer all of them, necessarily, if asked. And that, of course, is the same problem I had with "Lost" towards the end, and since I personally am a crazy-complicated-Method-backstory kinda writer myself, that causes me great pain. Basically, it feels like it was adapted from a novel I've never read, and like 2/3 of the background info was cut out. Except it wasn't. :\ But still, Fassy & Noomi. ♥ The Grand Space Adventures of Lisbeth and Erik!
Oh, and are we supposed to assume that Idris and Charlize did in fact have sex and we DIDN'T GET TO SEE IT? Because that is absolutely, 100% unacceptable. No. This cockblock malfeasance will not stand. (Oh, and hi, random Patrick Wilson cameo, what up, bb. Sorry about "A Gifted Man.")
[And Snow White and the Huntsman. Also spoilers.]And then I did a Charlize double feature and saw Snow White and the Huntsman--my hopes were considerably lower for that one, and I think that's why I was more pleased with it. Obviously it didn't try as hard, but it didn't take itself as seriously, so that made it kinda OK. First of all, visual/costume porn all over the place (same D.P. as Bright Star and Queen Colleen Atwood = hearts in my eyes), and of course Charlize was just fiercin' it up everywhere, as expected. I kinda wanted more of her backstory--there was definitely a rape vibe there, right? With that other king who kidnapped her or whatever? Not to mention ridiculous sexual tension all over the place with her brother, Ridiculously Destitute Man's Jaime Lannister. I am just legit assuming those two hit it at some point. And Lawd, if we're talking chemistry, could Snow and Ravenna have been more hatesexy? With the obsession and turning into William and kissing her (!) and the layers behind "you cannot have my heart"...goddamn, man. (Not to mention Charlize and Kristen just being Sapphic as fuck in every interview. And Chris just sitting there politely, probably daydreaming about Tom. I AM JUST SAYING.) I am all over that incredibly dark ship. And gotta say, that's how you do a love triangle. Snow had a real connection with both William and the Huntsman ["Eric," apparently?], but that didn't become the entire point of her character. I was getting Katniss vibes in a good way with her: the story's really about her and not just about her feelings for the guys, and she's brave and compassionate and can handle her shit, but doesn't just instantly know how to be A Leader Of Men out of nowhere. She's a savior and beautiful and all, but she didn't really have that hardcore Mary Sue quality of being The Best At Everything. That was nice. And it didn't end with a wedding! It didn't end with a wedding!! Hooray! I mean, I liked the hints of love and I don't think being a ~Strong Female Character~ means you can't have a man or whatever, but it was just so cool to see her becoming queen on her own without needing to have a king, right away, necessarily. I totally dug the open-ended conclusion there. I think the case could be made for both dudes; I was kinda getting big-brotherly vibes from the Huntsman at times, even during his speech when she was Mostly Dead (and move over, Jensen Ackles, because we got a new Single Manly Tear champ here. Remember in Thor? "Can I come home?" AAHHHH NOOOO FEELS), but they were totally hot as well. And obvs his kiss was True Love or whatever, but she & William had the whole childhood-BFFs thing, which of course is like my fave trope ever. But she didn't NEED either dude to give her character meaning. So that's awesome.
Also, talk about casting! I spent half the movie going "That's Sam Claflin. No, it's not. Yes it is. No it's not." But the dwarves!! I heard that there was some wank about not casting real little people--which, like, I completely see their point, but don't compare it to blackface, dude--but I had NO idea it was all those BAMFs. Toby Jones and Hottie Grandpa Ian McShane (!!!) and Ray Winstone and Nick Frost (!!!!!!!!!!!!) and Eddie Marsan...?! The hell? Was it me, or did they do like NO press at all for this movie? I mean, it was a cool, unexpected treat, but...weird, man. And this was my 100th film of the year, yay!
BREAKING BAD: OK, well, I'm already into S3, but before I forget: I actually saw the S3 premiere, "No Mas," for work like two years ago, so sadly for me I already knew that Jane died and the planes crashed as a result and stuff. But I did NOT know, or forgot, that Walt was IN THE ROOM WATCHING at the time. Holy shit. Everything about Jane/Jesse was just life-ruinous. They're, like, grinning at each other and cuddling in bed and he's geeking out about New Zealand and I'm just going 'oh my god, this is going to be THE WORST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME.' And it was. His utter breakdown in the season finale wrecked me, and his whole metaphorical father-son thing with Walt was already really getting to me over the whole season, so when he actually called him "son" in the crackhouse or whatever I was just completely ugly-crying. "I loved her more than anything." NO GOD WHY AARON PAUL LET ME LOVE YOU JFC--and to be fair, there was a fair bit of hilarity in their relationship as well, especially in "4 Days Out": "What are we building?" "You said it yourself." "...A robot?" HEE. The fact that those two utterly adore each other IRL does not hurt at all. Hell, the show's surprisingly funny all over the place--"I can't be all about spellin' and shit!" I DIE. It was kind of a huge bummer that I knew about the creepy pink bear and stuff all along, but still, I am IN. LOVE. with the fact that they mapped out that entire thing and teased it out over the whoooole season. Continuity FOR THE WIN. And of course on Wikipedia Vince Gilligan is like "yeah, that was incredibly difficult and we're never doing it again." D'oh. (Oh, and fun fact: "Seven Thirty-Seven" "Down" "Over" "ABQ" was meant to be a clue. That no one could possibly ever get, but still, props.) Of course fandom hates Skyler because fandom kinda sucks that way sometimes, but I do not; I think she's awesome and I love that she systematically figured everything out in the end there, though I thought maaaybe we should've seen a scene or two of that happening, just a bit. And I somehow really like Hank, even though I totally feel like I shouldn't. I love that he's kind of having his own quiet breakdown on the side and no one's really noticing; it's really sad. (I knew about the head on the turtle--DANNY TREJO!--but I didn't remember that it EXPLODED. JESUS, THIS SHOW.) Saul is kind of a total delight, and I adore Giancarlo Esposito, not just because he has a super-cool last name (heeeey) but because he's just perfect for the role--like, he just has that perfect face where he really could be just a everyday chicken-shack manager dude, or he could be the most terrifying kingpin motherfucker around and you'd just never know unless he wants you to. Ugh, yes. YEEESSS. Oh God, and sweet, sweet
OK, time for more episodes~
bigbang_mixup fic coming REALLY REALLY SUPER-SOON. Get excited!