we can't giggle, it's a crime scene.

(raise my hands, paint my spirit gold)

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objection: I hate the both of you.
TV - Boardwalk Empire

COMMUNITY: OK, that was glorious. As a long(LONG)time L&O-watcher, I was utterly delighted at their level of detail – the fonts! The camera angles! The title cards! The outfits! Was it me, or did Troy & Abed both look unnecessarily hot in their detective coats and things? ("WALK IT OFF!") Goodness. And apparently Dean Pelton likes men in uniform, too. Preach. Michael K. Williams is always, always welcome, especially when he's mad about missing "Mama's Family," and I totally salute the Omar reference, though I of course would have liked him to say he wasn't buildin' no bookcase or something. I'm pretty sure Todd may snap and kill everyone soon, though. You can only butt-monkey someone so much. When I heard someone was dying I totally assumed it was Leonard, so I have to say I was shocked at the ending (although the Last-Minute Phone Call of Death is also an essential L&O staple). Poor Starburns! Or Starface, as Chalky White said. (HEH.) And it took me an embarrassingly long time to get the pun of the title. I'M GIFTED IN OTHER WAYS.

THE OFFICE: Really, show? REALLY? You think you can rip off "The One With the Proposal" from twelve years ago without me noticing? Because yeah, I remember Joey misunderstanding the silent auction and buying the Mr. Beaumont. I'm not a fool. "You're settin' sail up the Hudson! You've got the wind in your h--arms!" SMH, show. And we're really supposed to think Nellie's never had a taco? I like the idea of her trying to bond with Darryl, just because Darryl's deadpan amusement at stupid people is wonderful (dinkin' flicka), but that was just a stretch. I dunno, show. I just dunno anymore.

GREY'S ANATOMY: OK, all I have to say is that Callie's ramble about working with Owen and Teddy together is like defusing a bomb, in a haunted house, with bears everywhere, and the bears have knives, was pretty much the greatest thing I've ever heard. I love her so hard. The dead-baby thing was ridiculous and sad and of COURSE I cried, and I have a feeling the Morgan/Alex thing will play out really badly by season's end. She's not gonna go bananas and kill him, is she? IS she? Oh, no. D: Also, get out, April. Jesus does hate you--he sent you that absurdly gorgeous hunk of man and you don't appreciate it? Guuurrll...

AWAKE: That definitely has to be the first time that a pregnant-teen plotline made me go ":-O AWESOME!", because for the most part I ain't got time for that. I totally knew he'd knocked her up and I was facepalming so hard, but that was a great twist—we've been wondering if Michael and his wife would have another kid, but instead they're having a grandkid! And presumably not moving because of that . Very cool. And it was so sweet when he awkwardly sought out Emma and then hugged her. Oh, Lucius Malfoy. Also, PIERRE CHANG, IS THAT YOU? With an injured arm?! EVERYTHING IS LOST ♥

SUPERNATURAL: WOW, OKAY, THAT CHICK WAS ME. Down to the elevator-dancing. That was kinda delightful. I wish she'd stuck around; I love the idea of Sam & Dean having a surrogate little sister. And I love that the extent of Dean's knowledge of lesbians is "pretend he has boobs." HEH. I'm very glad this Dick Roman plotline is actually starting to make sense and go somewhere, because I've been totally lost with the turducken and the experiments and the curing-cancer or whatever; Bobby's monologue was a little shamelessly expository, but I totally do the same thing when I write ~mysteries, so I can't hate. And good Lord A'mighty, I could not keep up with all those nerd references. I loved that Hermione was her fave--though I hope Sam was referring to PoA, not OotP, because Sirius wasn't really in danger in the Ministry; let's remember that. Oh, and Charlie's line that Hermione "ended up with the wrong--" made me sure that she ships Hermione/Ginny. COOL WITH IT. But I still don't like this Bobby thing; I assume we're heading for some big showdown where he ends up 'moving on,' or whatever, and that is such bullshit. I'll never understand the logic behind getting rid of him, Cas and the Impala. Just...what.

ONCE UPON A TIME: YES I NOTICED THE OCEANIC PLANE. \8D/ AND THE 8:15 MENTION AND "A LEAP OF FAITH" AND "COURSE CORRECTION" AND PHUKET (lol seriously "Stranger in a Strange Land" tho? Can we not? Ever?) MY BABY. ♥ That stuff alone made it a perf ep, but I also really enjoyed the Emma development – I know everyone's hating on her for kidnapping Henry, and that was a pretty bad plan, but I still like her and when she said she was ready to be his mom I realized that she really is; she's really grown a lot since the pilot and I think she really loves him. I think Regina's starting to unravel and that cannot be good for anyone; Henry totally facing her down was kinda awesome but also a bit troubling: what does he think will happen to her? He says "good will win," but does he think she'll actually die? Because that's what happens in fairy tales, and that's…pretty dark. She did raise him. I'm not sure there. Loved the weird parallels with Regina finding David and August 'finding' Emma – I guess I have to take back my claims that the show would take care to cast someone who looked like a young Eion Bailey, but whatever, that kid was cute, and oh my god baby Emma was making adorable faces at him and that warmed even my cantankerous heart:

♥________♥ kdsjkdjfkljdks PRECIOUS. So now I feel a little weird shipping them, but whatever, too late now. That scene in the woods was intense, and I don't blame her for not believing yet at all. She's never really trusted anyone, let alone believed in stuff like magic, before coming to Storybrooke, and she's never really been entrusted with anything that mattered, let alone something THIS huge...yeah, I get it. And you'd think August would get it a little too, since he shares her weird feelings of guilt about abandoning her and letting his father down and stuff. So I basically ship Emma with everyone, still.

GAME OF THRONES: MAMA NOOOOOOOOO I KNEW IT WAS COMING but I didn't think it'd be the first damn scene. ;___; But as soon as I saw Renly with Cat and Brienne I was like OH GOD NO and--well, OK, Brienne totally broke my heart, but I am pressed as fuck at Loras' underreaction. I seriously wanted to see him pull an Achilles and go apeshit and kill everyone, but instead he just looked kind of...moderately upset. Having Brienne be more upset than he was just sort of gave the wrong impression, I think. I really wish they'd developed that relationship more. :\ I know they didn't really have time, but...well, at least Margaery's still awesome, and we got my other faves--Brienne and Cat in the woods killed me, when they were swearing oaths to each other, because you know no one's ever been that kind to Brienne before. :( LADIES! ♥ Tyrion and Bronn continue to light up my life in every way ("Demon monkey?!"); I'd happy watch an hour of their medieval buddy-cop show every Sunday night, tbh. I'm really liking the development of Theon; we see that he's kind of a dick, but we also understand why he'd be so resentful, since everyone disses him all the time. Davos and Stannis were great; I love the shifting balance of trust between them. It's kinda sad, but awesome. I'm not sure about Dany/Jorah, though--I want to like and/or ship them, but I find it awkward the way he's mooning over her and she's just not having it. In the book she really seemed to be almost exasperated with him right away and it just threw off their balance. I did like the moment when she realized that he was in love with her after all and didn't quite know what to do with it, though, so I hope they alter that a little for the show. And I'm glad Doreah's still alive because I ship it so hard. And Arya continues to be the actual greatest, of course; standing up to Tywin, sort of, was so badass; talk about knowing how to play the game. That "anyone can die" looked like a meek agreement, and yet it was totally a threat at the same time--and he kinda respected it! Oh, if I end up liking show!Tywin I'm gonna be so annoyed. The "#TYWINNING" gifs aren't helping. AND ARYA/GENDRY IS THE FIRE OF MY LOINS:

DAAAAMN, GENDRY, DON'T HURT NOBODY. I mean, unless you have to. I love that two weeks ago Joe Dempsie is like "but I'm 24, and she's 14! So it can't happen!" and then we get gratuitous slow pan-ups like that. Heh. Troll away, my sweet. AND JAQEN. Oh my god, dat accent. A man can get it. Forever and ever. Those scenes were fab. Though I've heard people complaining that he mentioned the Red God, but I just checked the book and that's what he says there. And he also says "only death can pay for life," like Mirri Maz Dur, so...are we supposed to think he's just sort of a student of the world? Oh, I don't know, I just enjoy looking at him.

THE BORGIAS: (The TV Fanatic recap for this episode is titled "Sure, I Like Dags." HA!) And just went GoT decides to tone down the crazy for the week, a little, we have Cardinal Goodhair and his ginger assassin boyfriend torturing the fuck out of people with pointy crowns and ridiculously homoerotic slow-motion stabbing. *double facepalm* Oh, SHOW. And nuns! Dead nuns! The hell?! I've never been a big fan of Ursula or that relationship, especially after that last scene with Cesare, but goddamn, that was harsh. But I do like Cesare being in charge of shit. And I of course love Lucrezia & Giulia teaming up; her schooling all those old dudes with flour (with flour!) was awesome. Interesting that brother & sister are both kind of taking hold of more power, but they're going in opposite directions morally. Strange lack of Juan this week, after all the fuckery last week & the week before, but I guess he's off plotting somewhere. And is it me, or do people mumble on this show? Maybe I'm just losing my hearing, but the French king, my darling Michelotto and eventually Cesare occasionally are just really hard to understand, especially when they're being all angsty and brooding. I guess that's the price I pay. Apparently we're getting Michelotto backstory next week! \o/ Please don't let this be another "Gimcrack and Bunkum" situation. My heart can't take it.

SMASH: GOOD LORD, Ivy and Dev?! What is this, "Switched at Birth"?! (Not...not that I watched that show. Ever. Or every episode. No, not I. EDIT: HA! I'm not the only one who thought that! Suck it!) Are we supposed to think they didn't know each other? Because Karen had to have mentioned Ivy by name, and the look on Ivy's face made me think she knew who he was...good grief. It's kind of lame that they made him the bad guy in the relationship when she's been neglecting him In The Name Of Theatre like all season (I'm gonna say "I'm in tech!" whenever I want to get out of doing something; it'll be my new "I would prefer not to"), though it's also kinda ridic that he'd blame her for the Washington thing when he didn't even tell her about it. Sheesh. They're both kinda annoying. Derek/Rebecca was inevitable, though I was baffled by how fast it happened--like, really, he was won over just by her "Happy Birthday"? Maybe it was just really good cake. And I'm amused that they're being kind of meta about Ellis being a sniveling little eavesdropper (they sent him out to get a neti pot? While they were...? Oh, never mind.) Tom/Sam continue to be adorable; it was a little absurd to suggest that dancers' lives END once they can't perform anymore--like, you can teach, guys--but I like that they bonded more by the end, and I also liked that his family wasn't stereotypically ragingly homophobic. (Anything that ends with an interracial gay couple making out in plain sight in the 'burbs is something I will enjoy.) But wow, Julia is the actual worst. Eileen was totally right; it was her mistake to bang him & she doesn't get to screw over the whole production because of it. And now we're getting more Boring Michael and Dreadful Leo. I hope they at least give Frank more to do to make up for it. And Lawd, next week--poison peanuts! Called it!

Here, have another gif for your time:

And I finished my bigbang_mixup fic!! Final word count is 45,000+. D8 What have I wrought. I still have lots of editing (and graphics-making) to do, but it's quite a load off. It's not due for another month since we got an extension, but I am quite looking forward to posting.

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