we can't giggle, it's a crime scene.

(raise my hands, paint my spirit gold)

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A very small man can cast a very large shadow.
TV - Boardwalk Empire
Went to a screening of The Raven tonight--I like Poe, though I'm not a massive fan or anything, and my hopes were not particularly high. But it was a bit better than I'd expected; it's mostly a standard murder mystery, but there's a bit of added fun if you've read his stuff, since the murders are kinda-sorta based on his stories, and of course the 19th-century costumes were all Goth and fabulous. Luke Evans was kinda the best part--I am really starting to love him; he's just adorable and he always totally gives it his all even if the movie's kinda crap (Immortals; Clash of the Titans) and he stands out because he's so darn intense and earnest. He's like a white Chiwetel Ejiofor. Though in this he reminded me strangely of a nonthreatening Michael Shannon. Something about his grim, squinty pensive face. (I mean, I say that with love; God knows I stan for Michael Shannon like nothin' else.) Anyway, Cusack kinds phones it in, imo, but he did have some funny moments, since the script occasionally tried to emulate Poe's gallows-humor style, and in the Q&A after the movie (yes, it continues!), Cusack seemed to be a fan and talked all about why he liked his stuff and how he liked to scare his audience and shit-talk other writers and all that fun stuff. (He ran right out when it was over, though I wouldn't really have gone up to him anyway, but he did come off as nice.) Also, the ending credits were remarkably, if anachronistically, artistic & gorgeous in almost a Dragon Tattoo sort of way. So it's kinda worth seeing.

GAME OF THRONES: OK, THIS EP. Brienne! Renly/Loras! Renly/Loras/Margaery! (!!!!!!!!!!) Arya/Gendry! Theon feels! Lannister drama! Sansa feels! Tyrion being awesome!! IT WAS TOO BEAUTIFUL

(I use that gif too often, but really, it is just my life.) Oh man, everything I love. Brienne was perfect; everything I've read from the character seems like she really understands her, and I love that we already got hints of the Brienne/Cat friendship. And the Renly/Loras scene was glorious—good Lord, such heat between those two. Of course we got kinda cockblocked because there's so much talking on this show, but seriously, loved their chemistry. And I loved (LOVED) Margaery just completely knowing what time it is and not giving a fuck; her willingness to do whatever Renly wanted could've seemed like she was just being some meek girl serving her husband, but she just played it so merrily that it was clear she's just awesome and clever and knows how to play the game. And is clearly a fierce lesbian. AND THEN SHE CASUALLY OFFERED TO HAVE A THREESOME WITH HER BROTHER. I CAN'T. I JUST CAN'T. \8D/ THAT'S ALL I WANT IN LIFE. …Er, just from TV, of course. I just want one awesome canon OT3! Good thing nothing bad's going to happen with them! >___> Also loved the Sansa scenes; there was a lot going on at that dinner table scene with the tears in her eyes (!!!) and especially the scene with Shae: it was like she wanted to trust her just so she'd have someone to talk to, but at the same time she had to suspect that she might have been Cersei's spy, so she just fell back on her former bossy-rich-girl ways, except it didn't feel fun or cute anymore because she's had to mature so much and in a way she's a servant too and also doesn't know what she's doing and she just really wants a friend and misses her family and every time she trusts someone they either screw her over or die or get taken away and dgldkgdfkdl;sd;l so many layers. ;___; Really nice work by everyone in those scenes. Loved the editing on the Tyrion scenes when he was laying his trap for Cersei's spy; totally died at him casually playing with the nutcracker thing (HA, he shoulda done that in front of Varys) and "Got no goats, half-man." "Well, make do!" and Bronn laughing. I still love their broship. Goddammit. And then Arya being adorable and sadly mentioning Sansa (sfkldsjkjlk!!!! I REALLY REALLY WANT THEIR REUNION TO HAPPEN SOMEDAY) and then awesomely covering for Gendry. I like that Jaqen still keeps up the "a man can fight!" even when he's, like, on fire. And Theon! Premature Theon feels! He just had to exploit my angsty-lost-bad-boy feels, didn't he. (I can totally trace those back to Shawn Hunter. I realized this recently. That is my root.) He can be despicable, but he had a damn good point when he said "you gave me away!" and all. Balon is such a dick. Geez. That was kinda heartbreaking. I have little patience for the extraneous Greyjoys, but I really liked his 'conversion' scene a lot too. And ugh, that gorgeous shot when he burns his letter to Robb (another OTP down BUT NOOO THAT'S FINE NBD). We even got Sam being adorable with Gilly (though seriously, Jon, how slow are you? What did you THINK he did with the boys? Crikey). Only thing I didn't really like was Cersei confronting Tyrion and then sort of flipping out and breaking down--her downward spiral fascinates me in the book, but I thought it happened way too soon and looked a little too much like 'cunning man/hysterical woman' at a glance. But other than that, perf ep was perf. <3


THE BORGIAS: Nooo! Stupid show! That was so mean! How can you break my heart that way? I refer, of course, to not showing us a second of Rodrigo/Giulia/Vittoria, because really that sounded awesome. I just can't win with threesomes this week; goddamn. I gotta go read some Charles/Erik/Raven fanfic. Oh, and, you know, Paolo. I figured that was coming because the ep was named after him and he doesn't really have any actual historical equivalent, but aww, sad. They were sweet. I don't really get why we've turned Juan from a butt monkey into kind of a huge dick; considering what happens later this season (?) you'd think they'd want to make him more interestingly conflicted. It might have been more interesting to have Cesare kill him, actually. But oh well. And I guess Alfonso is really most sincerely dead now? Geez. I didn't need that; I was eating a sandwich at the time. (But when am I not.) Also, is it me, or can they not decide on a dialogue style for this show? I feel like they veer wildly from Downtonian poshness to Westerosian commoner slang every other scene. I guess it's related to the class of the character, but it's still...confusing. Did that one prostitute actually say "shillings"? Because...Rome...oh, forget it. Very interesting scenes with Michelotto talking to Paolo's spy friend about love (...and then killing her, JERK); I'd absolutely love some real character development for him apart from Cesare. [la la la Jimmy/Richard parallels wat r u talking about I don't see them at all nope] But what was up with the Cesare/Ursula scene?! I've never been all that invested in that relationship, but in the past she at least seemed to want him too. Now he's tearing off her habit and ordering her to pose naked or whatever?? Did you lose your decorum along with your vaguely British accent, sir? I don't know if we're supposed to be rooting for them or what, but geez. I guess he's done far worse, but if she's supposed to be his Morality Pet, it ain't working.

(Also: I am reading Mirror Mirror right now and I only just started liking it; it's a VERY different depiction of Lucrezia & Cesare and while I'm not sure I like/buy them as such flagrantly depraved villains, they're also considerably older than in the show and it's making me look forward even more to them both getting more mature and powerful and dark as it goes on, since both of them totally ran shit later on. Anyway.)

SMASH: I think the best moment of the night had to be Julia spontaneously turning into Grace Adler and impatiently organizing Tom and Sam's date. "Under 'Tom Levitt,' L as in 'lllllovebirds.'" HEE! GPOY! Adorable. It's kinda weird that Gay Republican's already gone, and I'm not 100% sure where Sam gets off critiquing Tom's entire love life so grandly, but they're really cute and I always prefer a slow burn, so I shall continue shipping them. Very happy at Karen/Ivy friendship, though bonding over hating another girl was…not really what I meant, but OK. The Rebecca arc was at least interesting; I like that she actually wants to learn and knows she's not perfect for the role. Uma can sing, as we saw in The Producers, but she's really not a Broadway belter. 'Course, neither was Marilyn, but those songs clearly demand a big voice and Ivy's got it, but I guess I do buy that they'd be forced to put star power over talent, sadly. Hooray for more Eileen/bartender guy (his comment about "getting your hands dirty" is only fueling the Hustonian Smash/Boardwalk crossover that is still percolating in my brain COME ON I WANT THIS MORE THAN BREATHING) and LOL forever @ Ellis pwned yet again. Derek's ~Marilyn visions~ with Karen are just getting embarrassing, especially with the Touched By An Angel lighting, but MOTHER OF GOD, LOOK AT HIS FACE:

ffffuuuuu me gusta. So much. I could eventually grow to properly ship them, especially since Dev is so clearly on his way out, as I have been assuming from the pilot [SIDEBAR: did we know that Raza Jaffrey is dating Lara Pulver?!? I like it! Makes me feel better about the Ginny Goodwin/Josh Dallas situation. And and and and what if they had like a wrap party and Anjelica brought Jack and Raza brought Lara and they met and sdfsjdfksdjfslj WHAT. FUCKING. IF. omg]. But I still actually like Derek/Ivy; there's something sweet there beyond the obvious 'director and the hot star.' See, once again OT3s solve everything. Just saying.

GLEE: Brittana sex tape. There's a Brittana sex tape, and ALL WE GET TO SEE IS THE DAMN CAT?! It's official; this is the week of cockblock. (Or...other...kinds of blocking.) Write it down! It's a thing! GAH! Lawd Jesus, let's just focus on the good things, like Santana in that dress, Mercedes slaying "Disco Inferno," the sweet Samcedes moment (they're winning me over, forced though they might be), totally random Jesse St. James, a hilarious and blatant lack of Quinn and Santana in that white suit. And I may or may not have deep, profound, shameful love for "Stayin' Alive" in general. So that was all good. I am doing my best to ignore Rachel offering to totally give up all her hopes and dreams for Finn ("maybe your dreams are bigger than mine"?! UM, NOOOO) because Finn's Meltdown of Directionless Angst was so hilarious to me—like, I genuinely remember being a senior and freaking out every other day about my future, but it's still funny because it's him and he's such an untalented tool. But now he's an actor! And wants to be in the Actors Studio. You know, where Marlon Brando studied. I was cackling. Loudly. However, I am deeply, deeply concerned about this Wade/Unique plotline—"Boogie Shoes" sounded awesome, but I am just not entirely confident that the writers know the difference between drag queen and trans. Because they are really, really not the same, and that was definitely kinda left hanging. If they're going to keep going with that, then good, but past evidence does not support the idea that this will be handled well, or even less-than-horribly-offensively. BUT I will reserve judgment because the kid's very talented and I am all for Kurt/Mercedes friendship and actually developing LGBT characters who aren't gay white males. Or just...characters who aren't gay white males. And I'll ignore the fact that Sue (who I still don't like as a nice person, despite Jane Lynch being awesome and talented) and Brittany just magically applied to college for Santana without her knowledge just because that Brittana moment was so sweet. See? I can be nice, ish!

Got an extension on the bigbang_mixup deadline, yay! I just need a leeeeettle more time to finish & polish & edit and stuff, and this weekend I'm going home for my cousin's bridal shower and won't really have time to work on it. (And then next Saturday, the 28th, is...also spoken for.) I celebrated said extension last night by procrastinating even more and making weird-ass graphics. I gotta self-promote; no sane person will read this monstrosity!

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