we can't giggle, it's a crime scene.

(raise my hands, paint my spirit gold)

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Things are serious. A man in a dress is dead.
TV - Boardwalk Empire
la_petite_singe
So yeah, I still don't know what yesterday was. O____o I have yet to find any interview with Colin & Ben, nor any pics of Hiddles from last night, so I may have fever-dreamed the entire thing. (Poor boy had to fly off to the L.A. premiere of The Avengers probably, like, the second the play was over. I dunno how these famous dudes do it. That new Loki/Tony spot dfkjfdskfjskjl ASSEMBLE FASTER)

GAME OF THRONES: EVERYTHING IS ARYA/GENDRY AND JAQEN H'GHAR AND NOTHING HURTS. I love that fandom has desperately grabbed onto Arya/Gendry because they're one of the few awesome things that hasn't ended in horror and death and creys (...yet, as far as I know); I adored their scenes together this week sfm. As for Jaqen, to quote my lovely Jules' perfectly accurate statement, a man could get it. Is it me, or does he look like a rather more sensual version of Richard Coyle? I kinda see it. Well, the season finale is called "Valar Morghulis," as far as I know, so hopefully they'll be lots more of him. TBPH I was kinda disappointed with two scenes I was really looking forward to, namely the Asha/Theon 'reunion' and Tyrion confronting Cersei about sleeping with Jaime--I didn't really dislike the "Yara" actress, but I did think her lines could've been a lot more interesting & sassy, and that could've gone on longer. And I guess that Joffrey-smack last week was a lot more important, but I was really looking forward to seeing Lena slap the hell out of Peter while he was just LOLing at her. But that scene was still awesome--holy hell, his face when she was talking about their mother dying. DDDDD: The Lannisters have so, so many issues. And Davos!! Being madly in love with Stannis! Hee! ♥ I was kind of amused that Stannis needed about three seconds of convincing to get with Mel, but I did like that there was actual heat between them rather than just 'must have a son.' And I don't really hate Ros like most people seem to, but I do think she's a little pointless, and that scene with Littlefinger went on too long. It's nice that SOMEONE'S upset about murdered babies, ffs, but I didn't think it worked well that it was her, since it wasn't her kid and we haven't really established a sense of friendship with her & the other brothel ladies or whatever. They've really gotta do something more interesting with her soon.


THE BORGIAS: HOORAY, MORE COSTUMES & INCEST FOR MY SUNDAY NIGHTS. \o/ Everyone's hair is more luscious! Cesare is like 60% less British! (Which is a good thing, really.) I squealed with delight upon seeing my bb Michelotto for the first time...aaaaaand then he killed a kid. APPARENTLY I LIKE THIS TRAIT IN MY SUNDAY-NIGHT HIT MEN. ALL RIGHTY THEN. But they were just as bromancey as ever, with him running in there to stop Cesare and Juan killing each other--though those two girls are really pulling each other's pigtails hardcore, ain't they. It's nice that Juan actually got to show off some skillz, though, instead of just being the butt monkey...although that will always be true. I will never get over the French king's ridiculous accent as long as I live, and I actually felt kind of bad for Alfonso until he started talking in that voice of his, at which point I was like "oh, god, kill him. Just kill him." (Though that actor won my heart when he was like "AHAHAHAHAHA...fuck me, I'm funny" in the S1 outtakes. HEH.) And holy hell, do I love Giulia and this weirdness with Vittoria! I loved that whole weirdly-aggressive flirtation they've got going on. I do love my OT3s, but hell, I'd be fine with just the two of them. Everyone on Tumblr was FREAKING. OUT. about an apparent Cesare/Lucrezia kiss next week, but I was way more excited about my other pairings. It just shows what sort of person I am and what kinda show this is that I was like "yeah, yeah, incest, great, but look! Hit man/holy man eyesex and cross-dressing threesome potential!!"

THE BIG C: That was MEAN, show, fucking mean to make me think Paul was dead for two seconds there. I totally didn't think he was after the finale, but I still wigged a little when she called herself a widow or whatever. Sheesh. But I'm glad he's not dead and his "IUD" is working. Adam has apparently decided to be considerably more tolerable, which is nice, and I love the Andrea/Sean bonding sfm. ♥ It's kind of adorable that he's the only one agreeing to call her Ababoo (though, like, I hope they're making a snarky point about people that age wanting to ~get back to their roots without actually knowing much of the history or whatever, because otherwise that is awkwardly stereotypical. It's Showtime; I have faith). And yay, she's getting better! Her kissing Alan Alda all over was the cutest part of the ep. But can we not bring in someone else adorable and then kill them off this year? Thanks.

SMASH: Well, that was...less interesting, but I did enjoy Eileen/Cute Bartender Who Looks Like He Belongs In Westeros, Tom/Sam (though...are he & Lawyer Guy just broken up now??? That was really unclear. He just went "goodbye" and walked out), Christian Borle finally getting a proper musical number (SQUEALING OUT LOUD TBH) and Derek's laughter when he saw the magazine that Ivy defaced. JackDav's smile just lights up my whole world. And I get why people ship Derek/Karen, though I'm still not really into it. And while I don't like Dev or that relationship much, two hot British guys fighting over me is kinda the greatest thing I can think of ever. Just saying. Hey boys, I want you both, I hope you think that's cool... I do like that the show (Bombshell, that is) is actually having realistic problems; the people are talented, but that doesn't mean everything's just magically falling into place Mary Sue-style. But...I guess I just can't get used to the idea that Ivy's not A Star, because Megan Hilty so clearly is, and she's ridiculously perfect for the role. Karen's talented, but I just don't buy that Derek would be like 'omg, she IS Marilyn!' Eh, well. Also really liked the Tom & Julia scenes--I loved that he actually called her out on her shit when she ran out of Three on a Match [what does that even mean???], because I feel like a TV stereotype of the gay man/straight woman relationship is that he's just passively there to flatter her or whatever. And as a professional hag, I can tell you that ain't true. He was blunt with her, but then really sweet when she admitted that Frank left. Loved it. And Uma Thurman!!! She's signed on for five eps; I assume she's not staying in the role of Marilyn long-term, but at least we'll see her do stuff. Plz oh plz throw in some Ulla references. TY.

*high-pitched squealing*

GLEE: OK, first off, I cackled when the FIRST LINE was "so, do you think we would've gotten married if Quinn hadn't gotten in that car accident?" YES, THANK YOU FOR THAT ESTABLISHING DIALOGUE. Improv 101 Dialogue; I love it. Cripes. Inspirational!Quinn was actually somehow worse than Heinous Bitch!Quinn; I was most definitely choking back a little McVomit at her ~noble attitude about her conveniently cutesy Matthew Crawley injury. The way they portray so-called disadvantaged people on this show, I stg...it's just so very, very, very patronizing. And "I'm Still Standing"?! Good gravy. However, all Kevin-singing is always good, so that was nice. (BUT IF THEY PAIR THOSE TWO...) I loved her line about texting & driving being the dumbest thing she's ever done, "next to sleeping with Puck"--first of all, the WE'RE SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE, GUISE anvils were putting holes in my ceiling, and, like, you mean when you had sex with him and conceived the daughter you were just scheming to steal back from her mother a few months ago? The same guy you tried to bone again TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD? And also, we're saying that in front of Will??? I CAN'T. Bomer was a delight in every possible way, though--well, this is unfair, but I have a very mild grudge against him because he kinda reminds me of my ex (if I can call him that). Around the eyes, or something. I just get kind of >_____< when I see him and then remember that it's not his fault and--well, anyway, I didn't know he could sing and he sounded awesome, especially on "Somebody That I Used to Know," and I will even forgive that he was basically a total Jesse St. James 2.0--hilariously cocky and good-looking blowhard whom most people are in madly love with and they rest just bitterly side-eye. As I always say, this show is SO SO SO much better when it's sarcastic, and his ANGRY POINTING AND YELLING AND SERIOUS ACTING had me ugly-laughing so hard. Blaine was just hilariously petulant--I like Darren and really don't care about the character, but I have to admit his brooding was making me giggle a lot. Were they kidding with "Fighter" and that Shower of Angst?! No, seriously, were they?! I honestly couldn't tell if that was meant to be straightforward. And my god, those two were so gay together. I started filling in various suggestive asides--"We're more than just brothers, right?" "I'LL JUST BET YOU ARE." I mean, that song...is a breakup song. They do know that, right? Har. And Sue is really pregnant? REALLY?! I thought that was just an overlong joke. Well...okay, fine, unless they give the baby Down's (which does happen more often in older mothers, and as we know, Sue is older than God), in which case I will BURN THIS CITY DOWN. NO. NOOOOO. Because it'll just be Jean all over again and it will ~redeem Sue and I will just punch a kitten at the ridiculous offensiveness of it all. So let's not have that. Oh, and LOL @ Finn thinking he has dreams and at expecting Rachel to stop being fabulous for him, because guuuurl please, sit yo' Miracle-Grown ass down and let her shine.

Hit 30,000 words today on my bigbang_mixup piece. Soooooo not done. *flops* Oh, and apparently Rami Malek was in a thing and didn't tell me, rudely enough, so brb, downloading "Alcatraz." (Is it any good?)

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